The Girls are (were) Back!

It certainly has been a blast from the past to be able to witness two people, instumental in my childhood, be able to relive their glory (ahem, whatever you call it) on MTV's latest installment of the Real World/Road Rules challenge... Two girls who approached their initial seasons quite, well, differently.

Let's first journey back to 1999. Cell phones were all the rage, MTV's "10 Spot" was in full swing, and these innovative masters in reality took their first stab at re-tooling the always "second best" side kick to "The Real World." That's right friends, throw away the RV, take down the horns, these kids set sail on one of the finest Ocean Liners cruising the seven seas - welcome to "Road Rules 8: Semester at Sea."

Rather than getting into the reasons that this season was the turning point for the once dominating show (although kudos for not voting people off yet), let's focus on the vixen on lido deck: Veronica. In a season full of what I would deem "misfits," I knew I could count on Veronica to rock the boat (good one, I know) and take this season from being a snore to a reason to look forward to Monday nights. And mostly for one key reason that doesn't get recognized enough... it turned out that as far as both tangible and intellectual property were concerned... Veronica was incredibly shifty.

Hide your "not particularly special" black T-shirts and term papers girls! Veronica is back! On the day that MTV broadcast the T-shirt episode (where Veronica steals, hides, eventually pulls Pua into the bathroom to give back, and then cries and confesses about the shirt that she had taken from her unsuspecting and bald - atleast it wasn't a hat - roommate) I am honestly not sure I have laughed so hard. On that day, Veronica told the confessional cameras that she had never been so ashamed (judging by her future behavior on some of the challenges I am assuming this record didn't hold up) and cried and begged for forgiveness - for stealing a T-shirt... and hiding it in her closet - while being videotaped... am I missing something here? Veronica, did you by any chance quit NASA to join the Road Rules cast?

Then there was the day that Veronica ripped off Ayanna's term paper and it went very differently... but was just as hilarious. Voodoo practicing Ayanna had written her paper, turned it in, and then unsuspectingly ended up in a plagarism scandal. Veronica didn't write her paper, copied Ayanna's, chased Ayanna down the hall trying to rip the paper away from the original author... and then too, somewhat surprisingly, seemed genuinely shocked when she ended up in the plagarism scandal as well. Veronica's claim to fame explanation that she "followed the outline" was quickly shot down when Ayanna calmly (yeah right) countered that she had never seen the outline - you be the judge here. In my book, not only does Veronica's total lack of a moral compass make for great television, but she has got to be one of the worst con artists of all time.

Veronica took this love for trouble on the road for years and ended up on several challenges. Always the agressor, Veronica was in the "in crowd," did well in the missions, and hooked up with guys and girls alike. In the process, she made friends (no), offended audiences, and generally did her best to break down the spirits of everyone around her - usually succeeding. In fact, in this latest go-round, Tonya drunkenly brings up something that Veronica said to her years earlier. The difference now is that at almost 24 years old, I am no longer in middle school, so to Veronica: that means you are old. No longer one of the cool kids, Veronica realizes that she is out of her league and is playing the game with people who watched her steal things on Monday nights as children. To Veronica, for a few weeks there, I actually felt like I was still working on that map for Spanish class while waiting in anticipation for your latest antics - please, don't be a stranger.

Next, we must go back in time even further. The Spice Girls and Hanson were climbing the charts, and the yet-to-be revamped and later defunct "Road Rules" was in full swing down under. The year was 1998 and we were ready for some horns and some dynamite Australian missions. In the cast of generally unremarkable young adults, there was one 18 year old innocent lamb who famously remarked that she didn't believe in fornication (I was forced to look this word up in the dictionary as a 12 year old) and was deemed by Christina to be on a "downward spiral" for stealing bowling shoes from unsuspecting teenage workers. Her name was Susie, and she was just embarking on a journey that has, to date, spanned 11 years.

Susie might have started off sweet but quickly established herself on the challenges as the undefeated cat to beat... and she is so not as nice as she used to be - which is ok with me. Susie may not be known for drunken antics and hook ups, but to me, she will always be known as the girl on the downward spiral stealing bowling shoes - and inspiring me to steal a pair of my own (which really wasn't as funny as I had anticipated). Susie, welcome back because although I may not have braces anymore, when you are around, I am still 12 and the Spice Girls are still together.

I salute you, Veronica and Susie, because while fame in the MTV world often lasts fewer than 15 minutes, it looks like you are here to stay. Can anyone really name anyone else from either of your seasons? (other than Yes and Piggy whose parents sorely misinterpreted the English language). And to anyone out there, I say that if you can do something for 6 months, refuse to fade into oblivion, and then make money off of it over 10 years later, you're doing something right afterall. Only here can kids be inspired to truly live that great American dream.

In The Beginning

On March 19, 1990, at exactly 4 years, 3 months, and 7 days old, my life was changed. This evening in Connecticut was a “Friday night,” the “moon was bright” – I was about to “have some fun,” they were going to show me “how it’s done” – and I was going to get to watch it again and again because THIS was the night that my mother not only gathered the family around to watch - but instead decided to record TGIF on ABC – most specifically, “Full House” – my one true love.

As the legend goes, my toddler self would become so distraught with the extreme and bitter disappointment of returning home from a Friday night dinner only to find that we had missed "Full House," that my mother was left with only two logical options – either encourage me to read a book and play with toys or dust off the best and most fancy gadget the 1980’s could buy. I’m convinced that there are few people in the world who got as much use out of the VCR as our family did – and the fact that our remote was attached to the box with a cord only gave us momentum since we never succumbed to the inevitable search for the VCR controller. To this day, in 2009 – I still make it my mission to keep the blank tape industry alive – buying out the stock whenever I see the tapes sitting alone and abandoned at drugstores across the greater Los Angeles area… and I trace this obsession back directly to that cold March night in 1990.

Eventually, with my “Full House” and “Family Matters” collections already in full swing, I knew I had no choice but to expand my library. I went through elementary school completely unable to understand why anyone would NOT tape something. “Saved by the Bell” – check, “The Brady Bunch” – it’s an American classic. The Olympics, the 1999 All Century Baseball Team, season finales of shows I had never seen – you never know when you will want to watch it again, or in some cases – at all.

I became so engrossed with collecting moments of America’s television history that by middle school, I was scouring Al Gore’s newest invention, the internet, to find the tapes of things that I had always wanted – the 1988 Olympic Games, the 1986 World Series, those pesky episodes of “Beverly Hills, 90210” that never seemed to find their way onto WGN… I wanted it all. I also began selling tapes on Ebay, years before boxed sets had cornered the market. I was a kid who could have a friend sleep over only after I had “cleaned up my tapes.”

There were two times that I remember being grounded from television: once for a week during the “Saved by the Bell” years and another time, for 2 weeks in 1997, during the “90210” phase (that never ended). The “90210” grounding came with more lenient conditions – I was allowed to tape the reruns during the day as long as the television was off, and I could watch the new episode on Wednesday... and trust me, this was punishment enough.

Because of a tragic incident relating to the May 4, 1993 broadcast of the "Full House" episode “Prom Night,” I no longer trusted my amateur recording skills to edit out commercials, so I recorded them all, and I started learning and loving jingles. Shave n Fun Ken, Suzi Strech, Quaker Instant Grits… – I very unfortunately still know them all and sadly for the undeserving people around me at the time, I still sometimes break out my repertoire when I am bored at work or in line at public places – usually interspersed with theme songs (my favorites are “Who’s the Boss?”, “Perfect Strangers”, and “Phenom” – yes, “Phenom”, keyword: “Judith Light” – let the googling begin). I began to truly love commercials, so when Tiffani-Amber Thiessen hosted “The Greatest Commercials of All Time,” I recorded that too. Mean Joe Green, Hey Mikey, Where’s the Beef? You can’t stump me on any outdated references that I should be too young to understand.

Always hip to the recording innovations, I bought a Tivo with babysitting money in high school, but it wasn’t the same. For “gotta have” moments, I knew that tape was the only way to go. A dvd could be inadvertently scratched beyond repair, but even on cracked tapes, “Growing Pains” can still "show me that smile" on demand. Sure, there were missteps along the way (anyone ever heard of “Titans”?), but for the most part, I stand behind my choices… “Primetime” episodes, complete seasons of “The Real World”, “Barbara Walters’ 20 Years At ABC”, the balloon boy puking on “The Today Show.” Digital recording now assists in my cause - I can record it all, but tape only what I absolutely need – with a safety net that makes it possible to be 100% commercial free.

When my parents moved in 2008, I cut down my collection by over 200 tapes, but I still have plenty of overflowing boxes. And I concede that the boxed sets of shows like “Friends” help me to find the episode that I want to watch in a much shorter amount of time – and without all the crying and yelling that inevitably comes with a search for the tape labeled “did that say outgoing?” (my clever name for “The One Where No One’s Ready”). I don’t know which section of the OCD spectrum I fall on, but I would be curious to find out if there are any experts out there. Until medical help intervenes, I will be out there, taping and loving television, and it all comes back to my favorite family, The Tanners, because on March 19, 1990, this fun loving bunch officially became the headliners of tape # 1.